Tonight someone on my "Perfect Man" list
told me what they thought about me. I cant say as though I agree with it all...though most of it is right on, but I do know that we dont always see our selfs the way others do. With that being said, I take it all into consideration in order to grow.
"So i think, that you think, you are crazy.. but i know there is a good person behind it all that is very caring... i think that you were really hurt from your first true relationship, but it has gotten you a lot stronger.. i think that you like to stand out and strive to be like others aren't, to be unique.. i know you're a very caring mother and would do anything for your daughter... you say that you don't want a relationship but it makes you stronger being alone isolating yourself from letting a lot of feelings that are built up inside of you out.. you make your life simple by doing this and this protects you from getting hurt because you are in complete control of everything.. it's easier not to take chances of getting hurt than to get into something that could possibly be bad..
You're an over achiever and strive on that. You stive on being great, and if things aren't to your expecation then you try harder to succeed. being out of a relationship with only your work and daughter makes it easy because those are two true things that you love, and don't have any outside distractions. i think that you are very happy with your life at this point in time but spend some nights thinking about things that you that you don't let happen, or could have let happen. you're very complicated in nature and that makes it hard for yourself to understand all of your thoughts that pass through your mind each day.
I don't think that you are 100% happy but you let yourself be that for the time being. i feel you will realize that at some point and have to make big changes to move your life in a different direction, even if it isn't a big one the first time it happens. i think that you do get lonely at times even though you say you don't want a relationship. friends and family are very comforting but that doesn't always satisfy all of your thoughts, concerns, and the unjustifyable thoughts that you have every day..
i just see yourself more the less isolating yourself from so many possibilies that come your way b/c, not to be mean, you are taking the easy way out and are comfortable at the moment with your life."
So I replied to him, "What if I told you I was in love with a man?"
But I had to let him go.