"Nobody wants to be anyones option."
Your words are so true and heart felt. You are a good person inside and out. I feel as though one day you will find what you have been searching for and at that moment, your purpose here in earth will all make sense.
Life has so many wonderful things to offer us each day and it would be a shame if we didnt absorb them. I love your willingness to try new things and meet new people. Just the fact that you will travel alone and explore this world every chance you can get is unique and admirable. But most of all I think that we are here to learn and we have the opportunity to learn the most from the people that come and go from our daily routines.
You know me, I say "keep it movin" but really what I mean is, there is hope and never give up. Being someone's "option" should never be an option for you. You are to special to sit around and wait for others to pick you. I obviously dont have all of the answers, because I sit and row the same boat as you, so just know that you're not rowing alone.
As Lil Wayne says in The Game,
"Im grindin til Im tired
They say "You aint grindin til you tired"
So Im grindin with my eyes wide
Looking to find
A way through the day
A light for the night"