Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Equality



Tonight I was asked if I thought
 the church had a role in what happened to my marriage along with the question, "If so many people are against marriage in general, then why do you all feel so strongly about gay marriage?"  And this is my response;

Nope the church had no role in what happened in my marriage, I couldnt get him to go to church with me, and I wasnt about to go and have ppl whisper behind my back. I did enough things alone then and I wasnt about to go stand there with a bunch of other "families" with myself lookin like a single parent. What ever happened to the days when the priest would visit I guess is what I was making reference to. When Jared asked around for advice, he listened to "the guys" at the FD that told him to take the direction he did. I guess what Im saying is, if the church wants to save marriage, they should try and save divorce. After my experience, I dont believe in marriage. But I had that right. And I can again if I choose...because Im straight. Now, if I was gay, I should have that same right. Marriage is traditionally tied to a church, but has modern day benefits that we all should have rights to. Just think, I will vote no on 1, and you MAY vote yes...but before 1920, neither of us had that right as women. I just dont feel it is ok to take a group of people and segregate them because of a genetic quality that they have. The Salem witch trials were wrong, slavery was wrong, the holocaust was wrong, Japanese Internment camps were wrong, women oppression was wrong. I just hope that some day when Samantha is older, I can tell her about this and it will seem so ludicrous to her that once upon a time, the churches (a place where god loves "all") supported the governments control and segregation over marriage. Its time for change. 

Vote NO on 1.

A. Lowbrow Delight


Seen for the first time online, this is a 10x10 oil on canvas that I did in 2007. A lowbrow self portrait of me as a child. Yes, my head is severed and hairs are chopped. Art tells a story, that isnt always pretty.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

My Love


Never give up hope! Samantha and I got home this morning and walked into our studio, and there he was, all the love Ive been looking for my whole life. He completes me and makes me feel whole. He stays up with me late through the nights and holds all of my dreams steady. Hes always up for a good time and doesnt mind my songs on repeat when I create. Every time I see him, I know that anything is possible. 
Who is he??? 
He is my easel! 

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

You have to be this and so much more.


1. Have a big heart

2. Live life as a good person

3. Be hard working

5. Give me space to be me and express myself

6. Be creative yourself

7. Make me feel safe

8. Look at me from across the room like there is no one else in the world that compairs to me

9. Have tons of passion

10. Love me and my daughter more than life its self, know the sacrifice it takes to always be our rock and never break our hearts, we are a package deal.

A challenge to my muse

I Can See More Beauty Than You

   ~ by OneMoreOption

I can see more beauty than you
Do you think it’s true?

Let’s have a competition between you and me
To see who can find more beauty to see

And when we think that beauty has run out
Let’s make some of our own with a shout

I want to inspire you in this endeavor against me
Because this is an effort I’m happy to lose, you see

Don’t tell me your inspiration and creations have run dry
If you do, put your back on me and drive

The only way you can become unbeautiful
Is to become invisible

Your beauty is as strong as you put it forward
As unrelenting as your care for others

Show me the eyes that helped teach me to see
Break my heart each day with your memory

Try to see and create more beauty than me
Fill the absences with spice and reverie

It will not matter who wins between you and me
It’s the effort that may benefit everyone we see

Monday, October 19, 2009

I should know better than to touch the fire twice

I'm strong
But I break
I'm stubborn
And I make plenty of mistakes
Yeah I'm hard
And life with me is never easy
To figure out, to love 
I'm jaded but oh so lovely
All you have to do is hold me
And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be 
If you'll trust me, love me, let me
Maybe, maybe


Someday 
When we're at the same place
When we're on the same road
When it's okay to hold my hand
Without feeling lost
Without all the excuses
When it's just because you love me, you let me, you need me
Then maybe, maybe
All you have to do is hold me
And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be 
If you'll trust me, love me, let me
Maybe, maybe


I don't want to be tough
And I don't want to be proud
I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found
I'm not lost 
I need to be loved
I just need to be loved
I just want to be loved by you and I won't stop 'cause I believe
That maybe, yeah maybe
Maybe, yeah maybe, maybe,maybe, yeah maybe
I should know better than to touch the fire twice
But I'm thinking maybe, yeah maybe you might
Maybe, love maybe

Biz

Antonio & Guiseppe De Bonis 
(my great grandfather), Shoe Repair.
 Probably mid- to late 1920s. Fall River, MA

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Friday, October 16, 2009

Dear Timmy

My floor is covered in brightly colored long strips of canvas that make my heart heart pound and my skin glow. Its a beautiful thing. 

My commissions are stacking up, Im way behind and all I can do is look at these free spirits all around me. Once Im done the commissions Ive taken on, Im not doing any more. Im going to let myself bask in the world of abstraction. Im so far lost in the love of the paint, I dont ever want to return to a world of lines restricted and bound by facial features and skin tones. I feel like Ive sold my soul to the devil and Im floating on a cloud of mist risen from fornication. 

WWAD



Do you see it cause you painted it,
 or do you paint it cause you see it? 
What would Amanda do?

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Lost in Abstraction

Ive crossed over into the dangerous world of abstraction and I dont want to return.  Since I have stepped away from the confined lines of portraiture, I feel more artisticly free more than I ever have before.  For the first time I am using bright and bold colors. 

This makes me believe that art is a reflection of the artist.  Life is worth living while we are alive.  I am free and alive and I dont ever want to feel dead again like I did when I was married. 

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Keep it Simple


Scorpio and Capricorn love compatibility 
This union means successful sexual mutual relationships. Scorpio is the more imaginative lover, but Capricorn's stamina is a delightful match. Scorpio's possessiveness spells security to Capricorn. These two work well as a team - Capricorn is highly organized and Scorpio has native shrewdness. The Scorpio is more inventive, while the Capricorn is more patient. Their success in bedroom opens some interesting opportunities. The representatives of both signs have strong will, but the Scorpio is inclined to dominate. The Capricorn must understand, that it happens because of the Scorpio's great love. The connection is usually passionate and marriages are successful.


Saturday, October 03, 2009

TGIF


It's Friday:

I work I listen I hurt I drive I pay 
I hug I cook I eat I clean I laugh I play
 
I read I sing I dance I text I create
I chat I write I pose I run I move I paint

I think I network I listen I send I tease
I fuck I suck I blow I grab I scream I cum I leave
I tweet I blog I vlog I edit I post I sleep I please

I blink

It's Sunday.

I feel like Ive done nothing.