Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Brick walls

"To make it into my life is hard. To make it into my heart is impossible. To make it onto my canvas is a blessing."~Amanda Delight

So after I went public with this statement, I had a divorced man tell me,  
"if youve already come to the conclusion that its impossible to make it into your heart, your going to be a very lonely person...i think if we were meant to be alone, then the joys we share when we are with a special someone just wouldnt be as enjoyable. AND if youve never felt that joy, then i feel sorry for you."

I answered him with, 
"Is it possible to experience the emotion of loneliness when I enjoy being alone? With a revolving door of patients all day, being a single parent and having a few thousand in my social networks, being alone is rare for me. But when I am alone, I then have time for my canvas. Im confused as to what that has to do with my heart. My heart is not empty, many people have their share of it. Ive been married and have a child, I feel that JOY everyday. Why do I have to prove that to you?"

After going back and forth on this topic, my fellow artist, Ladessa Sullivan aka CandyAcidReign writes, 
"Amanda is not ALONE. That's the point. I'd venture to say she has more than anyone could provide. She is fulfilled in her life, and full of love & spirit, and she has loved one's. Who's to say that's not enough when it's more than enough, and more than most people have?! Would you suggestbringing just anyone into her inner circle, just to say she has a man... only for that person to leech onto her and spread like a cancer killing off the joy she has created in her world?! Everyone knows what they have room for in their life at the moment, and I'm pretty sure that the right people are already in her heart in spirit, even before she meets them... and that's the way it should be."

After much thought, Ive concluded:
1. That guy is an ass.
2. Ladessa is right on point and truly understands me as a woman and as an artist.
3. Men are forcing me into becoming more and more asexual everyday. Asexuality is distinct from celibacy, which is the deliberate abstention from sexual activity. Some asexuals do have sex...
4. To make it into my life is hard. To make it into my heart is impossible. To make it onto my canvas is a blessing.

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