When you said to me,
"I have to let go of my hope and just deal with what is. My reality is, we aren't together and may never be again. I have lost a friend, and a lover and one of the deepest connections I have ever had to any woman ever."
I told you, "I hear and relate to every word." and I really do! I have you in my phone as Mr. Hope. Don't ever give up on hope. I feel as though I have, for these same reasons, and its a very cynical place to be. I feel like its an odd phenomena that happens when you love someone for all that they are and the feelings aren't mutual. It almost seems as though they don't see the big picture, so you tell yourself that they do love you but for what ever reason, they choose not to act on it. Either way, it leaves you feeling empty, alone, unwanted and not good enough.
I dont have all of the answers. All I can say is that you are a wonderful person, Ive seen the greatness in you ever since I was that shy, soft spoken girl in the back of the class. I'll say to you what Im trying to tell myself. If she cant see how great you are, then you shouldnt want her. You need to "be with the person that thanks God for you." We both deserve someone that will love every aspect of us, the good and the bad. Someone that will support us in our goals and help us reach them.
But most importantly, you need to "do you" Ever since Ive been focused on recreating my life to better myself emotionally, mentally, and physically, everything else is falling into place. Ive been saying, " I am becoming much greater than the idealistic version of whom you think I am" because I want to live life and live it better than ever before. If she is going to be "the one" for you. Dont worry, she will be back. So take this time for you. Become greater than that idealistic version of who she thinks you are because it will be you that gains the most...but above all, please dont loose hope. After all, finding true love depends on it!