Ah Nice

At first I wasn't sure how oil would adhere to the wood, but once I got a few layers on, it started to blend really nice. This pic was taken two hours into the process.  It should be dry enough in a few days to come back and add another layer or two. 

He Doesn't Hear It

A guy friend told me tonight, 

"You give him all the power"

I said, 

"I do give him the power

he can have it

he can have everything

its awful"

He went on to say,

"If there is one thing I have learned its that 3/4 the population of the world is so self absorbed that they have forgotten that they are human.  So busy aquireing things, and hurting others for their own gain, that the real people of the world, the people like you and I, that make this planet move and tick, get trampled in the process, left only to pick up what pieces we have left to emotionally glue back together to have shattered again and again.

So stay tight, stay smileing , and stop playing the papa roach song again and again, he doesnt hear it, he wont ever hear it. but I do. which is how I know what your doing to yourself when I watched you paint to it tonight."

Diablo Freeride Park

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You

I read your words over and over.

They bring me back to that moment in time that I had hope. 

Knowing that God had sent me an angel. 

So perfect 

So true

A man of the people 

Who gives and fights

A humanitarian

And after all this time I still ask God, 

"Why did our paths cross?"

I still don't know

But I am so interested to find out. 

Jay-Z

Jay Z Painting by Amanda Delight from Amanda Delight on Vimeo.

"This ain't a tall order, this is nothing to me

Difficult takes a day, Impossible takes a week

I do this in my sleep,I sold kilo's of %#&@

I'm guessing I can sale CD's

I'm not a businessman,

I'm a Business,Man

Let me handle my business, damn" ~Jay-Z

"Google bring the chorus in, did you get the picture yet,

 I'm painting you a portrait, of young..." 

Forever Young~ Blueprint III, Jay-Z

“…Remind yourself. 

Nobody built like you,

 you design yourself…”

 from A Dream, Blueprint 2

Colors inspired by Blueprint 3

I did this painting live with many people from around the country watching.  I set out to get a good start on it, and once I was done, I was shocked to see that it had only been two hours from start to finish.  I still have a few minor things that I want to fix/add to it...sometimes my work is never finished.  All in all Im very proud of this one! 

The Marley Movement

Im falling in love with the image of Bob Marley. 

I find men in general a challenge, since I have painted women and children most of my career. 

His image holds unique challenges and I am having fun with them.

Horns from her Heart

I have a new friend on Facebook and this is what he wrote;

"Her eyes tell a story so innocent and devilish that I can not look away

She walks the line between a devil and an angel with such grace

Smile so bright and yet horns growing out of her heart

She was once loved, discarded and then torn and ripped apart,

but still hope springs eternal and she looks in my direction

I smile over but know I have skeletons that I don’t want to mention."

~Luke Chouinard

Some Sort of Hybrid

He said, "You are not real are you... your some sort of hybrid...a women who has the hope of a girl and has had the heart break of a lover... and the courage of a fighter. You know people like you are not suppose to even exists...Does the world know how scared of failure you are?"

My response to that was, "Failure is not an option, though welcome to my blog, you have just made it in." 

Advice to Me

Painted live on stickam with much emotion. I went wild with this, all about expressing what I was feeling. Done on 3x3' birch panel with acrylic paint. ~A.Delight

Tonight someone on my "Perfect Man" list 

told me what they thought about me. I cant say as though I agree with it all...though most of it is right on, but I do know that we dont always see our selfs the way others do. With that being said, I take it all into consideration in order to grow. 

"So i think, that you think, you are crazy.. but i know there is a good person behind it all that is very caring... i think that you were really hurt from your first true relationship, but it has gotten you a lot stronger.. i think that you like to stand out and strive to be like others aren't, to be unique.. i know you're a very caring mother and would do anything for your daughter... you say that you don't want a relationship but it makes you stronger being alone isolating yourself from letting a lot of feelings that are built up inside of you out.. you make your life simple by doing this and this protects you from getting hurt because you are in complete control of everything.. it's easier not to take chances of getting hurt than to get into something that could possibly be bad.. 

You're an over achiever and strive on that. You stive on being great, and if things aren't to your expecation then you try harder to succeed. being out of a relationship with only your work and daughter makes it easy because those are two true things that you love, and don't have any outside distractions. i think that you are very happy with your life at this point in time but spend some nights thinking about things that you that you don't let happen, or could have let happen. you're very complicated in nature and that makes it hard for yourself to understand all of your thoughts that pass through your mind each day. 

I don't think that you are 100% happy but you let yourself be that for the time being. i feel you will realize that at some point and have to make big changes to move your life in a different direction, even if it isn't a big one the first time it happens. i think that you do get lonely at times even though you say you don't want a relationship. friends and family are very comforting but that doesn't always satisfy all of your thoughts, concerns, and the unjustifyable thoughts that you have every day..

i just see yourself more the less isolating yourself from so many possibilies that come your way b/c, not to be mean, you are taking the easy way out and are comfortable at the moment with your life."

So I replied to him, "What if I told you I was in love with a man?"

But I had to let him go.

Move Along

Im so annoyed

Over done

Played over and over

Im over it

Im over all of you

Im not interested in how you screw

Leave me alone to create and grow

Im working on me, not for your benefit 

Ive heard it all 

Tired of the same old stories over and over

Age is just a number 

but as those numbers climb, so do I 

Higher and higher

Above the bullshit

Are you fucking kidding me;

"What are you wearing?" you ask me.

Im wearing exactly what I want, if I wasnt I would change.

"Do you want it?" you said

What ever I want, I get myself.

"Do you want to get naked?"

No, its fucking cold in here, I have a mortgage, not a dorm room and heating fuel is expensive.

"When was the last time you had sex?"

First of all, thats none of your business and really what I want to know, are you asking, "When was the last time I had good sex, or when was the last time sex meant something to me?"

Look, I am on a quest to better myself emotionally, spiritually and artistically.  And through that process continue to be the wonderful mother I have been since    

2-20-04.  I just dont see how some random guy fits into that equation. You want my attention, keep it in your pants and say something intelligent. Raise the bar with who you are as a person. 

What do you give of yourself to this world? If you dont know the answer to that, how do you think you have something to offer me??? 

Creative Seclusion

I thank God for my daughter. Not only do I love her more than life its self, but she keeps me grounded and on a schedule of sanity. If it wasnt for her, I would dive deep into my paint and get lost. 

I would loose track of time and the day of the week. I would be a full time artist and live off of my commissions working per diem here and there to pay the rent, ya I wouldnt have a home. Just a loft apartment with my easels and a twin size mattress on the floor, living with the bare essentials. A simple life. No schedule, just my paint, canvas and commission deadlines.

 My number one goal is to see that she has the best childhood possible given the dysfunctional challenges we have been dealt. Our home is filled with music, art, laughter and most of all, love. When she is gone living her own dream, my world will seem empty, and I am sure to get lost in the paint.  

Prolific

I have a ton of ideas flowing through my head. I think Im going to explode and paint will come out.

Trust Love

My greatest inspiration is Love

But, I wonder if I will ever fall again 

I feel like Im too far gone to ever look back. 

The Ghost of Christmas Past

Today I saw the ghost of a stranger that I use to know 

Hes hollow and and shows no trace of the past

His presence makes me inhale life 

and reinforces that his absence has set me free

Goal

  

A goal is a dream with a deadline.

Looking

 Mom and I went out to eat and were talking about finding the perfect man. She said, "Its fun, like looking for treasure." I said, "Its like looking for a unicorn, a waist of time because they dont exist."

Give

I gave this painting away today that made the person cry and say they were speechless at the same time. "You are a gifted woman" they said. I told them, "this is why I do what I do" 

Have you ever given of yourself and asked for nothing in return??? If the answer is no, I dare you to try it. Its a beautiful thing!

Reflections

Motherhood made me less perfect in the mirror, but more perfect inside. ~A.Delight

Create

"When you make music or write or create, it’s really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you’re writing about at the time." ~Lady GaGa

T. KNIBBS

The music inspired the edit on this one 100%. I love this style and Im looking to do more like this as I explore the control of the can and caps. The brush has become boring to me and Im ready to grow. Screw the fine art world of oil painting. 

I want to make real art; loose, free and fun!

Original audio, "Damn I Missed You (Intro)" produced by smalltown, CL used with permission of the lyrical artist, T. KNIBBS

http://www.myspace.com/tknibbs